It is difficult to realize that it has already been two years since the birth and loss of our Carson. The journey has been like none other with many vast, steep mountains to climb and peaceful valleys to rest in. There are times I look back and wonder how we have come this far and yet, there are days it all still feels like a dream. Through Carson we have learned many things and experienced life in a deeper way than we ever thought possible. His short, little life has touched so many. There are times even now when we are in awe of the graciousness and thoughtfulness of others in their memory of Carson. He truly has left many gifts for us.
As you all know his greatest gift arrived this October. Our little River was born healthy and sweet tempered and has blessed our lives beyond measure. It was only one year ago today that we found out he was on his way. It was a perfect way to celebrate Carson's first angelversary, as we know that our second son was a gift from our first.
As I watch my little River sleep, I feel Carson's spirit around us. We miss him so incredibly much, but are so grateful to have his little brother. River will grow up knowing about his brother the angel. Having lost Carson makes River that much more special, that much more loved. We fight the fear of losing him as well. It is a daily battle, but more than not we find ourselves in a state of awe and gratitude over our little son. We feel so blessed to have him in our lives. As Carson has taught us, we treasure each and every moment we have with River, soaking in each tender hug, each contented sigh, every beautiful babble and every heart melting smile.
Today we celebrate Carson, his short, beautiful life, each memory we have of him, the lessons he has taught us, and all of the gifts he left for us. Each year on this day, his angelversary, I am trying to do something in his honor, something that will show our love for him while sharing his gifts with others. This year I have felt drawn to give away my published journal, Carson's Gifts, to any who have suffered the loss of a child, whether it be from miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss or at any age. This book encompasses my actual journal in which I wrote my experiences of yearning for a child, through the difficult pregnancy, to losing Carson and the battle of finding hope once again. It is an emotional and spiritual journey that others have told me makes them look at life in a whole new way. The reason I was led to publish Carson's Gifts was to help others through this journey and let them know they are not alone in their grief. If you know of anyone you think might find some comfort in reading my book, please email me their name and address or let me know that you will deliver it to them yourself. I will place my order for these books on February 15th so please email me before then.
If you or anyone else is interested in reading Carson's Gifts follow the links below:
Book's Website:
Amazon.com:
E-Book:
Thank you all for taking the time to read this letter and for keeping Carson in your hearts. We appreciate each and everyone of you.
Carson may have left us with broken hearts, but he also gifts. You are one of his gifts.
Eric, Danae & River Little
